When time allows, I treat my students to some extra relaxation by playing the song Let My Love Be Heard by Jake Runestad.  This evening deserved such a song.  It sounds like angels but just before the end gets very intense with a very soft resolve.  Then, a thought hit me.

I want my love to be heard even when I am silent.  Is it possible for such a thing to happen?  I’m standing there watching all these amazing souls breathing with their abdomens rising and falling.  I sometimes cry because of the beauty and weight of being responsible for these souls.  I certainly hope that they feel my love for each and everyone one of them without me even having to say a word.  If not, I know that in my heart that is what I was putting out there for them to receive.   

As I returned home this evening, I kept thinking about how amazing this thought was considering I could even get the concept of loving myself as recently as a few years ago.  I am love.  I love people to my detriment but this doesn’t mean that I have to let that affect who I am.  To be who I am, will encounter a lot of hate because the extremes attract each other.  

To know extreme happiness is to know extreme sadness.  To know extreme pleasure is to know extreme pain.  The more you run towards any one thing the further, it seems to run away from you.  For example, if you want to lose weight and you check the scale every day.  You are most likely going to be dissatisfied with the results and sabotage your efforts because you are focusing on one aspect of weight loss.  Eat less, move more and shake the head from side to side more often and that is the key to weight loss not eating something, working out and hopping on the scales. 

I am running head first into this love idea because it inspires me.  I feel that I have been the person that people need me to be rather than being myself more often than not.  I can’t live another day with feeling this hate in my heart for those that have wronged me or owe me money.  My freedom is priceless to any amount that is owed to me.  Besides, it’s not in my kharma bucket to hold.  

I learned several months ago that to acknowledge the fact that you have forgiven someone means that you have not forgiven them.  Distance makes some things much easier to deal with but loving all of the people in this world knows no distance.