Everyone these days is talking about meditation and mindfulness, but many of them are on a marketing jargon bandwagon.  I have been listening to podcasts and reading inspirational materials routinely for the last 3 years.  I have met some of these top bloggers and influencers and, I have to admit, most of them are phony and have no idea what a peaceful life looks like.  Most of them are talking about meditation and mindfulness because they have been following marketing trends. 

One example, a man that supposedly had a successful podcast talked about going to a meditation retreat and expected alcohol to be there and couldn’t stay there even a full day.  This man did meditation on his podcasts and lead people on these adventures in finding themselves.  In reality, he targeted people that had money, had family/marital problems and lured them in using buzz words that reeled them in.  Unfortunately, for him and several others in that circle, they are all grasping at straws now.  I wonder how peaceful their lives are?

1. Be Authentic

There are not many things in the world anymore that are real.  Our fruits and vegetables are genetically modified.  Even organic produce can’t be trusted.  We see successful people on the internet with high rankings on Google or iTunes.  I see, firsthand, that all of their reviews are fake and paid for.  Anyone can say that they have been on ABC, NBC, and CNN without any repercussions.  These ‘influencers’ can be on TedTalks, be a complete fraud and people will still pay thousands to work with them.  I say this because I witnessed this and started to learn that I had nothing to lose by being completely truthful and authentic next to these guys.  If you want to learn more about my experience please read Day 5: A Lesson. 

With all the lying that is happening digitally, it really pays to be honest with your potential clients.  Show the photos of your belly sticking out, don’t hesitate to hit post on that truthful and heartfelt blog entry and don’t use filters.  Beware of the person that posts pictures of herself with her Starbucks cup, perfect hair and makeup preaching to you that being real is important because, most likely, she’s plastic as well.  Watch out for that guy that brags about getting the video in one take because he probably spent all morning trying to get his hair right or get the correct manipulative words for you to click on that button.

2. Be Unapologetic

Most people take this wrong.  I’m not saying to never apologize when you are wrong.  I’m saying the opposite, never apologize when you know that you are right or doing the right thing.  While the others are sweating whatever is wrong in this situation, you will still find peace because that is their problem.  When I was scammed out of thousands of dollars, I never received an apology from Wesley for being completely fake and phony.  Instead, I got a message saying to never contact him and his wife again.  I would take it all back if he proved that he wasn’t a fraud but that call has yet to come and probably never will.  This is the same thing that happened when a friend stole a shampoo bowl from me and then threatened me with a restraining order when I showed up at her work to calmly ask her when I could expect to get my money back.  She lost it and started acting irrational when I told her I would wait to talk to her until she was done with a client.  People don’t know how to act when you aren’t afraid of them and when you aren’t sorry for that realization.

3. Know When to Give the White Flag

There is no rule book in life saying that you have to like everyone or have everyone like you.  When you see red flags from another person, know when it’s time to put up your white flag and respectfully ‘peace’ out.  As soon as you see the first red flag, your intelligence knows exactly what to do but we choose to not listen and be ‘nice’.  The title of this blog post is not - 3 Ways to Add Nice-ness to Your Life.  If you want to add peace to your life you have to cut out everything that does not bring you peace.  Nothing is off limits.  Adding peace could include cutting ties with that family member that is always negative, not going to that social function that you really don’t want to go to, learning to say ‘NO’ anytime you don’t want to do something and stop giving away your talents for free.  Life will certainly go on when you are not a part of the vicious cycle of negativity.  The people that you are associated with that bring you feelings of negativity will find others to cling to.  Save yourself the disappointment and stop the cycle on your own before it’s too late.

You want to add peace to your life but you are cheating on your girlfriend or boyfriend.  You want to add peace to your life but you can’t tell the truth.  Your peace in your life so bad that you are reaching out to people and gossiping about someone else.  Does any of this sound familiar?  If it does, your problems are most likely within.  It never hurts to reevaluate your surroundings, situations and social circles and choose something different.  You are in control of your life.  If you are wanting peace in your life, you need to ask yourself why you are not giving that to yourself.  You are worthy of the peace you seek.