As I have spent the last 7 months in a classroom sometimes more than 8 hours a day, I have learned so much but forgot that my days here in India are numbered. I am now having to start the paper process of returning my two biggest dogs with me in October and starting to think about what can return to the states during the trip as well. There have been moments where a particular song will come on and I start to get ready to cry. There have been times in class where I start to cry looking at the faces of the students in Shavasana.

I have no idea how it is going to be when the third week of December is upon my partner and I. I have no idea what it will feel like to return next year without my partner and not stay in our apartment that we shared for almost three years. There has been so much learning, understanding and love in this time. I don’t recognize the person I was three years ago. I don’t know who he was but he was and still is a part of me.

I have learned the true meaning of gratitude. Gratitude is not just felt in those times where someone has done a great thing for you but in those times of challenge is when the true test of gratitude shines. My Yin Yoga class yesterday completely opened my eyes about how I am constantly running. I have to ask myself, ‘What is all this running for?’

I run and accomplish to prove my value and worth. Now that I know this, I can start to work on this aspect of my life. I am going back to a place where I always changed for people. I changed so that they would be comfortable. I changed because I was too much for some of them. I changed because it got me things I would have received otherwise. Now, the change is mine. Hopefully, it makes people feel good but it will make some uncomfortable.

I have outgrown my roots and sprouted into a tree with vast branches, vibrant green leaves and beautiful lush flowers. I stand still breathing in with contentment of where I am knowing there is a journey to be had. We are taught to run towards our dreams but forget to enjoy all the little details along the way. We need to instead treat life like a walking escalator found in most airports. Looking at all the beauty around us. Life can really be that beautiful.