In this day and age where mental health can be used against you and add to the stigma preventing people from asking for help when they need it the most, we forget that we label people all the time as crazy or sane. Normally, this happens when people are provoked. People, for the most part, don’t act ‘crazy’ for no reason. This used to be a trigger for me because I worked with mentally ill people and found that most of them weren’t crazy at all. They were just people that had lost their direction, got addicted to drugs and started procreating.

These people had no idea how to deal with their drug addicts and were torn between that illness and the duty of providing as a parent. They have a constant struggle happening within them. I truly believe that no human being is bad. They may make bad choices but their nature is not inherently bad. They lost their way somewhere and some get back on track and some stay lost in illness.

I always was amazed at how easy it seemed to go to the doctor, get pills and be in this anti-depressant haze. If you look at my past no wonder I was depressed. The summer of my 8th grade year, I was told that if I was gay I had to move out. So, I decide to play it straight and, basically, move in with my girlfriend and her parents. Until the following summer when I couldn’t contain it any longer. I met my first love and we kept it a secret to a majority of the world. He, too, I believe deals with depression just like me.

Then, on top of all that stuff that has never been talked about and cleared, you add the other life stuff that happens. I chose to get into a series of horrible relationships. The last straw was before I moved to California. I was cheated on and this downward spiral started a series of relationships that were all different people but the same circumstances. Time after time, I left relationships feelings life their was something wrong with me when they were the ones that had issues of commitment and monogamy.

Thankfully, I have found a path that not only helps deal with these feelings of uncertainty but let’s me coexist with all of these people that just seem to be lost. When they screw me over, I’m no longer the crazy one. I’m on longer the boy living a double life to survive. I’m no longer the teenager afraid to be who he is. I’m no longer provoked by people that are just lost and hurt people to try to make themselves feel better. I, now, applaud them and hope they actually feel better. Say what you will but that stuff just stick anymore.