While I do doubt myself and the opportunities that I have been, I am grateful for everything that life has given me. The very fact that I have kept this website alive for 2 years and am getting ready to launch a new website specifically for yoga is reward enough to say I should keep going. I am looking at my analytics and wonder why people aren’t read but my intent was never for a huge audience in the first place. This blog, for all intents and purposes, is to log my thoughts not what people think about my thoughts.
There are various ways that my yoga practice influences my behavior. We do Pranayama in class when our class time allows. I have noticed that this calms my mind down a lot but I have also started losing weight since practicing regularly. Simple equal breathing and bhramari is something that I do everyday. I do this in the evenings or first thing in the morning. I can’t claim that this practice has had a direct affect on my weight lose but my weight did start to drop after including this in my routine.
I have also started to do Sutra Neti along with my Jal Neti practice. This is a cleansing practice from the Hatha Yoga Pradipika. Sutra Neti is taking a rubber string and inserting in your nostrils, letting it go all the way to the back of your throat and grabbing the string as though you are flossing. This loosens up the mucus. Then, the practice of Jal Neti is where you wash the nasal cavities with water that has just a little bit of salt in it. Practicing both of these together has changed the way that food tastes.
Asana and meditation have also helped me be stronger physically and mentally. During my asana practice, I take the poses very slow so that I can feel my muscles working with my breath. There is no teacher telling me to go deeper or to stretch my leg more than I should. The postures always make me feel better immediately. Meditation has been a a part of my life for about a year. I started with focusing on my breath and moved to floating in a salt tank. I feel that I bring the practice of meditation into my daily life and it doesn’t always require sitting in a meditative posture.
These are a few of the things that I have been doing to combat my depression. I don’t always feel like doing them but to not do them means I let the depression win. I refuse to let that happen. Every day I will get up and deal with my thoughts. Every single day, I will win and go to bed ready to face the next day.