Over the past couple of days, I have been emotional. I have been wanting to burst out in tears looking out of the window in the morning while traveling in my Uber. I have had moments like today where I surprised myself by not caring what everyone thought and just simply let go. We had a dance teacher that completely changed the way I look at expression.
At first, I was telling myself that I would just sit this one out and observe. Then, she had us sit on the floor and do a dance with our hands. I started to feel the layers of self consciousness peel off during this first five minutes. This instructor was a dancer but also a captain for 6 years in the Indian Army. Her smile was infectious.
Then, the part that I dreaded came. She made us stand up and dance like our favorite bird. I chose a crow because there are so many of them here and I find their black color to be completely beautiful. After getting us warmed up she let us literally fly like a ‘drunken bird’ in our space. It wasn’t long before I forgot that there was anyone else in the room and I was flying in my space like a drunken crow.
I would be lying if I didn’t look around to see what my fellow volunteers and the camper were doing. It was absolutely beautiful. People that were completely silent in the camp were expressing themselves and spreading their wings like they were about to take off in flight. Some I believe, in their minds, were actually flying. These are the type of moments I live for.
We spend so much time of lives worrying what others are thinking about us. I was telling a couple of my classmates that I thought drinking at a club was the secret potion that allowed me to dance freely and not worry about the judgement of others. This was not the case. However, in a room where the lights were bright and I was completely sober, I shed any fear of what anyone thought. I learned to let go so much that I started to cry to know such freedom.