I have spent most of my life making a big deal out of people not doing their fair share or doing wrong. I have done this to such extremes that I have burnt bridges and worked myself tirelessly to try make some sore of justice out the sheer pointless. People will always do more or less than you just as people will do some things better or not as great as you.
The point here is that I have started to create a defense of indifference so that I don’t have negative feelings and don’t attract negative people or situations. I have done well in India by surrounding myself with likeminded people or, sometimes, no one at all. I have learned that quantity in friendships is most certainly not better than quality. This camp has brought out some of the worse things in my personality and has brought to light some of my best qualities.
Age in India is not as predicable in India as it is in America but being older doesn’t always means being more mature or independent. High school type cliques have been formed and small groups politics have insured. I sat in a room full of adults that have all been complaining about each other completely lie regardless of people being on campus, at the different sessions or being present physically or mentally.
On of our assignments is to observe one person that is attending the camp. We read their positive points and see if there is any change in attitude regarding their thinking. We also see how they are conducting themselves in the camp. How can you observe someone if you are never around of available? It doesn’t make any sense.
However, I have been stepping back from my criticism of these people that haven’t taken as seriously their tasks of helping people in their lives. It doesn’t matter how well they do it. I remember always getting bad marks on exercising self control in elementary school. Now, as an adult, I have to wonder if this now coming into my adult life. I don’t have to worry about what anyone else is doing except myself.