Day 108: 5 Things Every Successful Relationship Does

Remember those days of staying up late talking about nothing, anticipating hours in the bedroom and pouncing on every text message?  These were the days is what many feel about their relationships or marriages.  Do relationships lose their luster or shine after time?  If they do, get your polish out and start rubbing.  Here are 5 essential things you need to do keep the relationship strong.

1.  Be Spontaneous.

We are creatures of habit.  Naturally, this leads to routines in every aspect of our lives.  To break up the monotony, skip out on the plans for the weekend and do something to revive that weekend schedule.  While most have a hard time breaking the cycle, once on the road or in a plane and left with no other option, you would be surprised how much the departure from the norm is appreciated.  

2.  Talk about the Future

While many of us remain in the present with our relationships.  It is good to talk about the future. You can set loose plans, create goals together and design a life that you both enjoy.  Talking about the future too soon can lead to the fatality of the relationship.  Be careful.  Also, be sure to avoid topics that are sensitive like kids.  Having a plan is good even when you are living day-to-day and having a plan helps you grow.

3.  Ask How your Partner's day Was

Many people forget this very simple and important question.  Asking how someone's day was is sometimes the most important thing to them.  Not only does it show you care, you show your partner that you are there for support.  However, hold the advice unless asked for.  You may find yourself in a situation where asking was your biggest mistake.

4.  Join in a Hobby Together

Most couples have the belief that you should do separate activities.  While having your own space is crucial for a relationship to survive, having a hobby that you enjoy together can give you something to look forward to.  Hobbies come in all shapes and sizes.  You and your partner can guarantee that having that one thing that you do weekly, monthly or bi-monthly will create memories for years to come.

5.  Embrace the moments of Being Human 

While many look at farting and getting completely flustered as too vulnerable and taboo, show your partner all sides of you without shame.  In the same light, let your partner show all of their sides as well.  Maintaining a safe space to completely be yourselves may be the only area that you feel that way.  Be a support to your partner not a critic for things that they can't control.  

When we choose to spend the rest of our lives with someone, you sign up for a whole list of things that you didn't think of.  These are only 5 things that every successful relationship has.  There are many more.  If you have found that special someone hang on to them.  You never know when life will throw a curveball and leave you alone.  My advice to you is:  Enjoy the ride.  

Day 106: A Preacher and a Cop in a Church

Lately, there has been a video circulating on social media regarding a cop-preacher who has called for the elimination and execution of gays.  This not only reminds me of the insane laws against ‘gender traitors’ from Gilead from a Handmaid’s Tale but I remember a time long ago when these was everyday.   Perhaps the man and his words stand out so much now because of how far we have come to except those around us.

I pity this man because he probably had something horrible happen to him as a child or has suppressed homosexual tendencies himself.  He needs to let those feelings out somewhere and this is the group that he has targeted for his frustration.  I wish that it was just his frustration that was disturbing but it is not.  He seems to be even paranoid that the gays are tampering with his food.  Regardless of if he was paranoid before, he should be now. 

He specifically targets men in his ‘sermon’.  This is what leads me to think that he has something deep inside of him that he is afraid to let out or some insecurity that is leading to such hateful extremes.  He talks about the man at the Clinique counter and how he has rejected God.  Can a man just do his job?  Many of these types of videos or even people set a fire off inside of the gay community along with their allies but they go to the same place that this man does - extreme hate.

You cannot combat this negativity in this way.  You have to approach the pain of a person like you would if a child was hurt because, most likely, that pain comes from their childhood.  Instead of throwing stones at this person, we should look into why he has these feelings and help this person heal.  He has obviously some form of phobia stemming from a trauma that he is suffering from. 

When we look at people as our brothers and sisters in the good and bad times, this type of hatred has no place.  When we start treating everyone with the same respect as you would God, there would be no war.  However, we, as a human race, can’t even let someone have their own idea of what gender or race God is.  It is sad to see this type of public display of hate.  My prayers are for this man and any closeted person in the congregation that lives in pain and lies everyday that they find peace.  Erase hate out of your heart and the world becomes heart-shaped peace sign.