We live by codes, standards and societal constraints from the very day we are conceived in our mother’s womb. You mother possibly had some shame in being pregnant at a young age that very possibly was carried onto you through the umbilical cord. Your mother and father may have fought a lot while your mother was carrying for 9 months. Then, when you were everything was supposed to change.
The change last only a short while and your family would go through this cycle of a huge blowup, small temporary changes were made and then, after some time, another blowup happened. You may have made a rule at a very young age that you would either fight or shut down when things get heated or confrontational. You might be a person that has no idea how to handle conflict at all so you avoid it all together through your quiet and meek personality.
You made a rule at some point to react to things in a certain way because you either saw what violence and torment can come out of being an aggressive person. On the other hand, you may have seen someone in your life stroll along with no problem because they avoided conflict altogether. I admire the ladder because this is almost an avoidance of growth but I am not judging the lifestyle of others. You may have went through something very traumatic in life and avoid conflict because you are freightened. I’m sorry that whatever happened to you happened.
The trust is that we all have something from our past that has shaped who we are today. We do certain things and don’t do other curtains because somewhere along the way we made it a rule. If this happens, then I do this. If someone treats me this way, I react like this. Somewhere along the line it was even an unspoken rule that men are to open doors for women. We’ve come a long, long way from that mentality.
If we have all these rules, how is it possible to live in the present. The simple answer is that it is not. We are all like robots that have been trained to act in certain ways and respond to situations systematically. This is cultural and societal. We have created unspoken rules.