A Comprehensive Guide to Overcoming Toxic People Pleasing on a Yogic Path

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, the pressure to please others can often overshadow our own needs and desires. Whether it's in our personal relationships, professional endeavors, or societal interactions, the pervasive need for validation can lead to a cycle of toxic people-pleasing behavior. However, amidst this chaos, the ancient practice of yoga offers a beacon of hope – a transformative journey towards self-awareness, inner peace, and liberation from the shackles of external approval.

Yoga, derived from the Sanskrit word "yuj," meaning union, is a holistic system that encompasses physical postures, breath control, meditation, ethical principles, and self-study. Central to the philosophy of yoga are the eight limbs, or Ashtanga, which serve as a roadmap for spiritual growth and self-realization. By delving into each limb and integrating specific practices into our lives, we can unravel the layers of conditioning that fuel toxic people-pleasing tendencies and cultivate a deep sense of self-worth and authenticity.

Yamas: Cultivating Ethical Principles

The first limb of yoga, Yamas, consists of ethical guidelines for how we interact with the world around us. At the core of Yamas is Ahimsa, the principle of non-violence, which extends not only to others but also to ourselves. When we engage in toxic people-pleasing behavior, we often sacrifice our own well-being in an attempt to avoid conflict or gain approval. Practicing Ahimsa towards ourselves involves recognizing the harm caused by excessive people-pleasing and setting boundaries to protect our mental, emotional, and physical health.

In addition to Ahimsa, other Yamas such as Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brahmacharya (moderation), and Aparigraha (non-attachment) provide valuable insights into navigating relationships with integrity and authenticity. By aligning our actions with these ethical principles, we create a foundation for healthy, balanced interactions that honor both ourselves and others.

Niyamas: Cultivating Personal Observances

Niyamas, the second limb of yoga, focus on personal observances that foster self-discipline, self-awareness, and inner contentment. Santosha, or contentment, teaches us to find satisfaction within ourselves rather than seeking external validation. In the context of toxic people-pleasing, Santosha invites us to embrace our inherent worthiness and recognize that true fulfillment comes from within, rather than from the approval of others.

Svadhyaya, the practice of self-study, encourages us to explore the root causes of our people-pleasing tendencies and uncover unconscious patterns of behavior. Through self-reflection, journaling, or therapy, we can gain valuable insights into the underlying beliefs and fears that drive our need for external validation. By shining a light on these shadows, we can begin to release their hold on us and cultivate greater self-awareness and self-compassion.

Asanas: Cultivating Physical Postures

The practice of yoga asanas, or physical postures, is perhaps the most well-known aspect of yoga in the Western world. While asanas offer numerous physical benefits, including increased flexibility, strength, and balance, they also serve as a powerful tool for cultivating self-confidence, resilience, and inner peace.

Certain yoga poses are particularly beneficial for overcoming toxic people-pleasing tendencies by promoting qualities such as strength, openness, and self-assurance. Incorporating poses such as Warrior II (Virabhadrasana II), which builds confidence and empowers us to stand strong in our truth, or Bound Angle Pose (Baddha Konasana), which opens the hips and heart, inviting us to embrace vulnerability and self-acceptance, can be transformative.

Additionally, practicing balancing poses like Tree Pose (Vrksasana) can help cultivate stability and focus, grounding us in our own inner strength and resilience. By engaging in a regular asana practice, we not only nourish our physical bodies but also nurture our emotional and spiritual well-being, paving the way for greater self-confidence and authenticity.

Pranayama: Cultivating Breath Control

Pranayama, or breath control, plays a central role in the practice of yoga, influencing our physical, mental, and emotional states. Through conscious breathing techniques, we can regulate the breath, calm the mind, and access a deeper sense of inner peace and clarity.

In the context of toxic people-pleasing, pranayama offers a valuable tool for managing stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. Techniques such as deep belly breathing, alternate nostril breathing, or extended exhalations can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing a state of relaxation and calmness.

By cultivating a regular pranayama practice, we can develop greater resilience in the face of external pressures and cultivate a sense of inner steadiness and equanimity. Whether practiced on the yoga mat or incorporated into daily life, conscious breathing serves as a potent reminder of our innate capacity to find peace and presence amidst the chaos.

Pratyahara: Cultivating Withdrawal of Senses

Pratyahara, the fifth limb of yoga, involves withdrawing the senses from external distractions and turning our focus inward. In the context of toxic people-pleasing, Pratyahara invites us to detach from the need for external validation and cultivate a deeper connection with our true selves.

In today's hyper-connected world, we are bombarded with messages and stimuli that can pull us away from our inner wisdom and intuition. By intentionally withdrawing our attention from external influences and tuning into our inner guidance, we can reclaim our autonomy and make decisions aligned with our values and authentic desires.

Practices such as mindfulness meditation, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative expression can facilitate the process of Pratyahara, allowing us to quiet the noise of the external world and listen to the whispers of our own hearts. As we cultivate a deeper sense of inner attunement, we become less swayed by the opinions and expectations of others, finding greater freedom and authenticity in our choices and actions.

Dharana: Cultivating Concentration

Dharana, the sixth limb of yoga, involves cultivating focused concentration and single-pointed attention. In the context of overcoming toxic people-pleasing tendencies, Dharana invites us to direct our energy and awareness towards positive intentions and self-growth.

One powerful tool for developing concentration is the practice of mantra repetition. Mantras are sacred sounds or phrases that carry vibrational energy and can be used to focus the mind and elevate consciousness. By choosing mantras that affirm our inherent worthiness and sovereignty, we can counteract the negative self-talk and limiting beliefs that fuel people-pleasing behavior.

Examples of empowering mantras include:

- "I am worthy of love and respect exactly as I am."

- "My worth is inherent and unaffected by external validation."

- "I honor my needs and boundaries with compassion and integrity."

By incorporating these mantras into our meditation practice or repeating them throughout the day, we reinforce positive affirmations and rewire the neural pathways associated with self-worth and self-empowerment.

In addition to mantra repetition, practices such as focused visualization, candle gazing, or mindfulness of breath can help cultivate concentration and inner stability. As we train the mind to remain anchored in the present moment, we develop greater resilience in the face of distractions and external pressures, empowering us to stay true to ourselves and our values.

Dhyana: Cultivating Meditation

Dhyana, the seventh limb of yoga, involves the practice of meditation – a profound journey inward towards self-awareness, inner peace, and spiritual awakening. Through meditation, we learn to observe our thoughts and emotions with compassionate detachment, cultivating a sense of inner spaciousness and freedom.

In the context of overcoming toxic people-pleasing tendencies, meditation offers a sanctuary of stillness and serenity amidst the chaos of external demands and expectations. By carving out dedicated time each day for silent reflection and introspection, we create space to connect with our inner wisdom and cultivate greater clarity and discernment.

There are many forms of meditation, ranging from focused attention practices such as mindfulness meditation to heart-centered practices such as loving-kindness meditation. Experimenting with different techniques and finding what resonates with us personally can deepen our meditation practice and enhance its transformative power.

Whether seated in silent contemplation, walking in nature, or practicing mindful movement, the essence of meditation lies in cultivating presence and awareness in each moment. As we anchor ourselves in the present moment, we awaken to the inherent wholeness and perfection of our being, free from the need for external validation or approval.

Samadhi: Cultivating Union with the Divine

Samadhi, the eighth and final limb of yoga, represents the culmination of the yogic journey – a state of profound union with the divine, characterized by transcendence of the ego and dissolution of separateness. In Samadhi, we experience a sense of oneness with all of creation, recognizing our interconnectedness and inherent divinity.

While the state of Samadhi may seem elusive or esoteric, its essence lies in the simple recognition of our essential nature as pure awareness and unconditional love. In the context of overcoming toxic people-pleasing tendencies, Samadhi offers the ultimate liberation – freedom from the incessant striving for external validation and approval.

By cultivating a regular yoga practice, incorporating the teachings of the eight limbs, and embracing the path of self-discovery and self-transformation, we can journey towards Samadhi – towards a state of inner peace, wholeness, and fulfillment that transcends the limitations of the egoic mind.

As we navigate the complexities of life and relationships, may we remember that our worthiness lies not in pleasing others, but in honoring our own truth and living with integrity. Through the practice of yoga, may we find the courage to release the need for external validation and embrace the fullness of who we are – worthy, whole, and infinitely deserving of love and acceptance. Namaste.

Embracing Cleaner Eating with Yogic Principles and Sattvik Cooking

In today's fast-paced world, where convenience often trumps health, it's easy to lose sight of the importance of nourishing our bodies with clean, wholesome foods. However, adopting a cleaner diet isn't just about what we eat; it's also about how we eat and the principles we embrace in the process. Yogic principles, rooted in mindfulness and holistic well-being, offer invaluable guidance in this regard. Coupled with the principles of Sattvik cooking, which emphasize purity, simplicity, and balance, we can embark on a journey towards cleaner, more conscious eating habits.

Understanding Yogic Principles:

Yoga, beyond its physical postures, encompasses a philosophy that extends to all aspects of life, including nutrition. Here are some key yogic principles that can guide us towards cleaner eating:

Ahimsa (Non-violence):

Ahimsa encourages us to practice compassion towards all living beings, including animals. Embracing a plant-based diet aligns with this principle, as it avoids harm to animals and promotes environmental sustainability.

Sattva (Purity):

Sattva is one of the three gunas (qualities of nature) in yogic philosophy, representing purity, harmony, and clarity. By choosing fresh, natural, and minimally processed foods, we nourish our bodies with pure energy, fostering mental clarity and emotional balance.

Moderation (Mitahara):

Yogic teachings emphasize the importance of moderation in all aspects of life, including diet. Consuming food in moderation ensures that we maintain a balanced and harmonious relationship with food, avoiding both excess and deprivation.

Awareness (Prana):

Prana, or life force energy, flows through everything, including the food we eat. By cultivating awareness around our food choices and eating habits, we can better align with the natural rhythms of our bodies and the universe, optimizing our health and vitality.

Embracing Sattvik Cooking:

Sattvik cooking is a culinary tradition rooted in Ayurveda, focusing on foods that are fresh, seasonal, and conducive to physical and spiritual well-being. Here are some ways to incorporate Sattvik cooking principles into your diet:

Use Fresh, Whole Ingredients:

Opt for fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and legumes. Minimize processed foods, additives, and preservatives, which can disrupt the body's natural balance.

Cook with Love and Intention:

Approach cooking as a mindful practice, infusing your food with positive energy and intention. Cooking with love not only enhances the flavor of your dishes but also nourishes your body and soul.

Balance Flavors and Textures:

Sattvik cuisine emphasizes the balance of flavors (sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and pungent) and textures (soft, crunchy, smooth) in each meal. Experiment with a variety of ingredients and cooking techniques to create well-rounded dishes that satisfy the senses.

Respect Nature's Rhythms:

Eat seasonally and locally whenever possible, aligning your diet with the natural cycles of the earth. Seasonal foods are not only fresher and more flavorful but also contain the nutrients needed to support your body's changing needs throughout the year.

Practical Tips for Cleaner Eating:

Incorporating yogic principles and Sattvik cooking into your daily life doesn't have to be complicated. Here are some practical tips to help you eat cleaner and live more mindfully:

Start Your Day with Warm Water and Lemon:

Kickstart your metabolism and detoxify your body by drinking a glass of warm water with lemon first thing in the morning. This simple ritual helps alkalize the body and aids digestion.

Practice Mindful Eating:

Slow down and savor each bite, paying attention to the colors, flavors, and textures of your food. Chew your food thoroughly and avoid distractions like screens or stressful conversations while eating.

Include a Variety of Colors on Your Plate:

Aim for a rainbow of colors in your meals, as different colored fruits and vegetables contain unique phytonutrients and antioxidants that promote health and vitality.

Stay Hydrated:

Drink plenty of water throughout the day to stay hydrated and support your body's natural detoxification processes. Herbal teas and infused water are also excellent choices for hydration and flavor.

Listen to Your Body:

Tune in to your body's hunger and fullness cues, eating when you're hungry and stopping when you're satisfied. Avoid eating out of boredom, stress, or other emotional triggers.

By incorporating yogic principles and Sattvik cooking into your lifestyle, you can cultivate a deeper connection with your food, nourish your body and soul, and embrace cleaner eating habits that promote health, vitality, and holistic well-being. Remember, it's not just about what you eat, but also how you eat and the consciousness you bring to the table. Bon appétit and Namaste!

Embracing Imperfection: The Path to Ahimsa in Yoga

In the vast landscape of yoga philosophy, amidst the intricate postures and the profound teachings, lies a cornerstone principle that often gets overshadowed by the pursuit of perfection – Ahimsa, the practice of non-violence and compassion towards oneself and others. Ahimsa beckons us to embrace imperfection as an essential aspect of our yoga journey, inviting us to cultivate kindness, acceptance, and empathy, first, towards ourselves and, then, the world around us.

In a society that glorifies flawlessness, filters and prizes achievement above all else, the concept of embracing imperfection may seem counterintuitive. We are conditioned to believe that success is measured by our ability to attain perfection – flawless poses, impeccable alignment, unblemished faces. Yet, in this relentless pursuit, we risk losing sight of the true essence of yoga – the journey of self-discovery, self-love, and self-acceptance.

When we step onto our yoga mats, Ahimsa asks us to approach our practice with a spirit of gentleness and compassion. It reminds us that yoga is not about contorting our bodies into perfect shapes or achieving Instagram-worthy poses or time-lapse videos; it is about listening to the whispers of our bodies, being with the voice that is yelling dishonest insults, honoring our limitations, and embracing the present moment with open arms. By releasing the need for perfection, we create space for authenticity and vulnerability to flourish, allowing our practice to become a sacred sanctuary for self-exploration and self-expression.

Embracing imperfection on the mat also means embracing the ebb and flow of our practice – the days when our bodies feel strong and supple, and the days when fatigue and stiffness weigh heavy on our limbs. It means showing up on our mats with humility and grace, surrendering to the fluctuations of our bodies and minds, and meeting ourselves exactly where we are, without judgment or expectation.

Moreover, the practice of Ahimsa extends beyond the confines of our yoga mats and permeates every aspect of our lives. It challenges us to cultivate compassion and kindness towards ourselves and others, recognizing that we are all flawed and imperfect beings navigating the complexities of human existence. When we embrace imperfection in ourselves, we create a ripple effect of acceptance and understanding that radiates outwards, touching the hearts of those around us and fostering deeper connections and authentic relationships.

In a world that often feels fractured and divided, embracing imperfection becomes an act of radical defiance – a rejection of the narrow confines of perfectionism and a celebration of the messy, beautiful tapestry of human experience. It empowers us to embrace our uniqueness, to revel in our quirks and idiosyncrasies, and to boldly show up in the world as our imperfect, authentic selves.

As we navigate the ups and downs of life, let us remember the wisdom of Ahimsa – that true liberation arises not from the pursuit of perfection, but from the embrace of imperfection. Let us cultivate a spirit of gentleness and compassion towards ourselves and others, honoring the sacred journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. And let us walk this path with open hearts and open minds, trusting in the transformative power of love, kindness, and acceptance to guide us towards wholeness and healing.

Kindness in Cruel Situations

How do we deal with cruelty from others and to ourselves? In a world that often tests our patience and challenges our kindness, the importance of grace shines through like a beacon of light in the darkest of times. As the saying goes, "It takes grace to be kind in cruel situations." Through life experience, I am offering guidance on how to extend kindness even in the face of toxicity – be it people, situations, or mindsets.

1. Understanding Grace:

Grace, in this context, is the ability to respond with kindness and compassion, even when faced with cruelty. It involves maintaining composure and choosing love over hostility. It is not a sign of weakness but a testament to inner strength and resilience.

2. Practice Empathy:

Empathy serves as the cornerstone of grace. To be kind in cruel situations, try to understand the perspectives and emotions of others. Often, toxic behavior stems from personal struggles and insecurities. By empathizing with their experiences, you can break the cycle of negativity. Even when people exhibit behaviors out of protection of some kind or privilege.

3. Set Boundaries:

While being kind is essential, it's equally crucial to establish boundaries. Protecting your well-being doesn't mean reciprocating toxicity. Establish firm but compassionate limits to safeguard your mental and emotional health.

4. Respond, Don't React:

Reacting impulsively to negativity may perpetuate the cycle of cruelty. Instead, respond thoughtfully. Take a moment to reflect on the situation, and choose a response that aligns with your values and promotes a positive outcome.

5. Cultivate Self-Compassion:

Being kind to others starts with being kind to yourself. Understand that you are not responsible for the toxic actions of others. Practice self-compassion, forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings, and extend that same grace to those who may be struggling.

6. Focus on Solutions:

In the face of cruelty, shift your focus from dwelling on the problem to finding solutions. By adopting a problem-solving mindset, you can contribute to transforming a toxic situation into an opportunity for growth and understanding.

7. Lead by Example:

Demonstrate the power of grace through your actions. By consistently choosing kindness in challenging situations, you inspire those around you to do the same. Lead by example, and let your grace become a ripple effect that creates a more positive environment.

8. Celebrate Small Victories:

Recognize and celebrate the small victories of kindness. Whether it's a smile in the midst of adversity or a compassionate response to a negative comment, these small acts contribute to the greater good.

In a world where cruelty can sometimes feel overwhelming, the choice to be kind requires strength and resilience. Embrace grace as a guiding principle, navigating through toxic people, situations, and mindsets with kindness. Remember, it takes grace to be kind in cruel situations, and by choosing this path, you contribute to creating a more compassionate and understanding world.

Rediscovering Balance with the Four Pillars of Yoga During Seasonal Depression

As the days are slowly growing longer, the onset of winter can bring with it a sense of heaviness, lethargy, and for many, the familiar companionship of seasonal depression. This year, as we see the finish line for winter on the horizon, let's take a holistic approach to combat the winter blues. Let's turn to the wisdom of yoga and rediscover equilibrium through the four pillars: Ahar (diet), Vihar (lifestyle), Achar (behavior), and Vicar (thoughts).

1. Ahar (Diet): Nourish from Within

The winter season often tempts us with the allure of hearty comfort foods, rich in sugars and carbohydrates. While indulging in seasonal delights is part of the joy, practicing mindful eating is crucial. Consider incorporating warm, nutrient-rich meals that strike a balance between fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Experiment with herbal teas and spices known for their mood-boosting properties. A well-nourished body provides the foundation for emotional well-being during the colder months.

2. Vihar (Lifestyle): Embrace Mindful Movement

One of the common challenges during winter is the temptation to succumb to lethargy - the Netflix & Chill. Combat this by incorporating gentle, yet invigorating, movements into your daily routine. Whether it's a morning yoga session, a brisk walk in the crisp air, or a dance class that brings joy to your heart, movement releases endorphins and lifts your spirits. Walking your dog is included and they love it too. Embrace the rejuvenating power of mindful movement to counteract the winter slump and keep both your body and mind active. For a gentle yoga flow, click here.

3. Achar (Behavior): Cultivate Positive Habits

Mindful behavior plays a pivotal role in combating the seasonal blues. Establishing a consistent sleep routine is vital to regulate your circadian rhythm, ensuring a restful and rejuvenating night's sleep. Create a cozy and well-lit space within your home to counteract the gloominess outside. Engage in activities that bring joy, whether it's reading, crafting, or connecting with loved ones. Small, positive habits can make a significant impact on your overall well-being during the winter months.

4. Vicar (Thoughts): Cultivate a Positive Mindset

The mind is a powerful force that can either be an ally or an adversary in our battle against seasonal depression. Challenge negative thought patterns by incorporating mindfulness and gratitude practices into your daily life. Keep a gratitude journal by writing 10 things you are grateful for before sleep, practice meditation, or indulge in moments of mindfulness throughout the day. Redirecting your thoughts toward the positive can create a profound shift in your emotional well-being, fostering resilience against the winter blues.

As we navigate the winter months, let's weave the ancient wisdom of yoga into the fabric of our lives. By focusing on Ahar, Vihar, Achar, and Vicar, we can create a harmonious and balanced winter experience. Embrace the nourishment of the body, the vitality of movement, the positivity of behavior, and the serenity of thoughts. Together, let's combat seasonal depression and invite warmth, well-being, and resilience into our lives during the colder months.

🌬️🌞🧘‍♀️

#WinterWellness #YogaLifestyle #SeasonalDepression #MindBodyBalance

Navigating the Shadows: Unveiling the Pitfalls of Toxic Positivity Through Yogic Wisdom

In the age of self-help mantras and motivational quotes, there's an emerging concern that demands our attention – the phenomenon of toxic positivity. Often masked as relentless optimism, this mindset dismisses any form of negativity or struggle, urging individuals to "stay positive" in every circumstance. However, as I delve into the profound teachings of yoga, we find that blindly embracing positivity can lead to a superficial understanding of life's complexities.

The Dark Side of Positivity

Toxic positivity suppresses authentic emotions, invalidating genuine struggles and challenges. For example, dismissing a valid complaint or a person in general. It's essential to acknowledge that life isn't always a bed of roses; it's a tapestry of light and shadow. The pressure to remain positive at all costs can create an unrealistic standard, leaving individuals feeling isolated when they grapple with difficulties.

Yogic Principles Unveiled

Acceptance (Santosha)

Yoga teaches us the importance of embracing all aspects of life, even the unpleasant ones. After all, we don’t know good if we don’t bad. Santosha, the principle of contentment, doesn't deny challenges but encourages us to find peace amidst the chaos. You can be the same person when times get rough and when you are enjoying life. Suppressing negative emotions contradicts the essence of acceptance.

Dualities (Dvandva)

Life is a dance of dualities – joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain. Yogic philosophy, through the concept of Dvandva, emphasizes that both polarities are inherent and inseparable. Rejecting one in favor of the other denies the richness of the human experience.

Dharma (Righteous Duty)

Toxic positivity may divert individuals from their dharma, their righteous duty. Accepting life's challenges is a crucial part of fulfilling our duties, learning, and growing. The pursuit of relentless positivity might blind us to the lessons inherent in difficulties.

Raga (Attachment) and Ajnana (Ignorance)

Yogic principles warn against excessive attachment (raga) to positive emotions and the ignorance (ajnana) of the wisdom embedded in challenges. Embracing the full spectrum of emotions, positive and negative, fosters emotional intelligence and spiritual growth.

Embracing Wholeness

In acknowledging the negative impacts of toxic positivity, we reclaim the power of authenticity. Yoga teaches us that true well-being arises from integrating all facets of our existence. By allowing ourselves to experience the full spectrum of emotions, we cultivate resilience, empathy, and a genuine connection to our inner selves.

Breaking the Chains

It's time to break free from the chains of toxic positivity and engage with life authentically. The yogic path invites us to find a balance between the light and dark, understanding that both are essential for our evolution. Let us embark on this journey of self-discovery, embracing the wisdom of yoga to navigate the shadows and illuminate the path toward genuine well-being.

Finding Light

Jeremy Eaton on the beach at Alimos, Athens, Greece.

Another week has commenced, marking another day closer to my eagerly anticipated return home. As I reflected in my previous entry, the mix of excitement and apprehension surrounding my impending homecoming persists, largely due to the myriad of opportunities and unknowns that lie ahead both personally and professionally. The prospect of redirecting my efforts toward an arts organization occupies my mind extensively, shaping my thoughts and aspirations.

I had an incredibly thought-provoking session with my therapist where I bravely bared my soul, delving into a comprehensive list of my deepest fears surrounding this monumental change in my life. The paradox of feeling more liberated in a foreign land than in the supposed sanctuary of my own 'home' perplexed me deeply. In response, my therapist astutely proposed that I reframe my apprehension of the unfamiliar as a sense of curiosity. Although I strive to embrace this perspective, I find myself ensnared by a relentless onslaught of doubts about my deservingness, competence, and resilience.

Many past experiences have led me to understand that the challenges I have encountered in my life are rooted in discrimination against my sexuality, talent level, and neglect, and have also been exacerbated by jealousy from others. In the face of these adversities, I have made the conscious decision to forgive, showcasing my resilience and unwavering determination to push forward. Throughout my journey, I have repeatedly come across individuals who have displayed genuine revulsion toward my true self by calling me a faggot, despite my inherent kindness and optimistic demeanor. Some people feel I shouldn’t excel because I am less than or below them. To be honest, I believe this is the main issue surrounding the relationship with my father.

No matter what I do or what I achieve, it is never fully realized. I can emcee an event with charismatic flair, meticulously organize all the entertainment, painstakingly select the decorations, and oversee flawless implementation, yet it is still regarded as ‘maybe’ helped. There is no victorious moment, and I find myself at an age where I am compelled to seek my own approval before seeking validation from someone who may not be capable of truly loving me. This struggle is not unique, as I have come to understand that many relationships between parents and their children are inherently complex. After all, I carry with me the weight of not feeling wanted from the very beginning and all I became was a problem.

I have spent years relentlessly running through life, tirelessly seeking and poignantly conquering opportunity after opportunity. I have traversed from city to state to city to country, amassing a wealth of awards and recognition along the way. Despite my outward success, I have constantly grappled with a pervasive sense of unworthiness and emptiness. Hours, days, and months have been consumed by futilely assigning blame – to myself, to others, to circumstance. Nevertheless, there comes a time when I must confront the reality before me, turn the page, and embark on a new chapter. Although I have made strides in releasing the shackles of pre-2021 failures, I find myself repeatedly entangled in familiar lessons dressed in new guises, encountering diverse individuals and situations yet grappling with the same unresolved enigmas. What an enigma this is!

In most examples, I can firmly stand in the belief that I have consistently done the right thing. I approached various situations with genuine kindness and treated individuals with the utmost dignity and compassion. Moreover, I have lent my unwavering support to those who have felt victimized by addressing what is incorrect or unjust. This involved probing into matters of ethics and morality to safeguard the only invaluable asset I possess—my name. However, encountering these scenarios repeatedly prompts one to ponder the underlying reasons that drive people to do what is right. It becomes disheartening when individuals who transgress face no repercussions because of their popularity or the outcome of a vote in their favor.

You have the power to whistleblow if you witness corruption or injustice, to stand up and speak out amidst the chaos. Sometimes, the burden of the world may feel unbearably heavy, but there are ways to release that weight—through shouts that echo from the depths of your soul, or tears that flow freely in the shelter of your car in the parking lot of your job. In a society that often seems to revolve around the individual, I find solace in holding onto my sense of optimism. Deep down, I wholeheartedly believe that there is a unique place for me, a purpose awaiting my arrival. This conviction is the driving force behind my persistent pursuit of opportunities and my unwavering sense of hope. I frequently find myself meditating on the idea that, in this vast universe, I am already in the process of aligning with a greater plan at play. Although this alignment may not manifest today or even in the upcoming week, I refuse to yield to discouragement. I maintain my steadfast belief that there is a place meant just for me, for the universe continuously imparts upon me the same enduring lessons. In this phase of my journey, my primary role is to listen intently and remain attuned to the subtle nudges of the universe.

If this resonates with you on some level regarding parental relationships, discrimination of any kind or feelings of lostness or emptiness, please reach out to me at jeremy@thejeremyeaton.

Welcome Back?

As I sit down to write after revisiting my last blog post of 2019, I can't help but marvel at the whirlwind that has been my life since then. Life, they say, is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. Mine has been no exception.

The relationship I once held so dear has become a memory, COVID threw the world into chaos, and I found myself in Rochester, NY, then unexpectedly dwelling in an RV in Waco, Texas. Friendships that were once close have evolved, and I've moved back to Missouri. This lead to me becoming a campground host for the Missouri State Park system and residing in a camper.

Amidst these changes, life took an inevitable turn with the passing of my beloved grandma. However, in the midst of farewells and closures, new friendships and chosen family emerged, turning the pages of my story in unexpected ways. I hopped on a plane with no clear destination, embracing the uncertainty.

This journey led me to apply for directing Creative Arts Productions, Lion King Jr., this summer at the Missouri Theatre. During my travels, an opportunity to make a significant impact on St. Joseph's art scene has presented itself as a retirement has made way for new beginnings. I've thrown my hat into the ring for an Executive Director position with the Performing Arts Association in St. Joseph, MO. It's a call to go home, and I find myself at a crossroads, weighing options, and for the first time, relishing the power of choice.

Previously, my life felt like grasping at straws, but now, I'm navigating a sea of possibilities. I have the chance to volunteer with the Missouri State Parks system again, or work at The Bavarian Inn in Eureka Springs, soaking in the tourist season. It's not a desperate search anymore; it's a mindful selection, and it feels liberating.

I have submitted my resume to an agency in Kansas City, MO, opening doors for acting, voiceover, and modeling work. My new website showcases not only my diverse artistic endeavors but also my experience with yoga, a practice that has been my anchor during these transformative times.

Jeremy Eaton, The Prince Islands

Jeremy Eaton on a boat passing the Prince Islands

Reflecting on the last four years, I've learned about coexisting with diverse personalities, discovering profound levels of patience and forgiveness. Time, I've realized, has its way of serving justice. My instinct to fight every battle has given way to prioritizing inner peace – a delicate balance I strive to maintain.

Before leaving Missouri, I glimpsed the possibility of finding peace at home. Connecting with like-minded community members and rekindling friendships gave me a taste of the fulfillment that comes from being truly at home. I cast my net wide, and now, it's time to embrace the abundance that awaits.

As I revisit this blog, I'm prepared to delve into the personal aspects of my life. It's a source of entertainment and reflection, a space to release emotions and share my truth. Naiveté has given way to a more grounded perspective. I'm no sage offering solutions; I'm navigating life one moment, one day, and one breath at a time – just like you.

While this blog will be deeply personal, I implore you not to use it as fodder for gossip. It's my story, and interpretations may vary. It's raw, unfiltered, and genuine. If you're along for the ride, fasten your seatbelt – this is "A Raw Blog." Thank you for being part of this journey.

Change

My schedule has changed by not being in class Monday through Friday from 2pm-6pm. I now use that time to study and get ready for my upcoming trip to the United States. I am so excited to see my parents and my coworkers. I am even more excited to be able to teach the students coming to my classes. I have a meeting about an upcoming mural project that I am working on. I have a speaking engagement for our business community and several other meetings regarding the market in Saint Joseph.

With all of this, my excitement is starting to build but I can’t help but feel anxious about everything that I need to accomplish over the next few days. Taking the dogs to their veterinarian appointments and to the quarantine office today to make sure that there are no health issues. All is clear for the big dogs with the vet. However, today is our quarantine office appointment. We were told to allow 3-4 hours for this appointment. Also, the person who normally does this is not going to be there so it will hopefully be someone that knows what they are doing.

India has a whole list of things that don’t make sense and systems that are completely broken with no solutions in sight or on the horizon. You pay money and things happen. You pay extra money and things happen faster. Its all corruption but I’m grateful that I can get my big dogs home and start this process of moving back to the United States. I don’t feel ready to move back at all.

There is so much of the world I haven’t seen yet. There is so much of the world I haven’t seen yet. Being on the other side of the world has opened my eyes to so many things. I am so small in the larger picture of this existence. A spec really when you look at my life in the scale of the cosmos. I have much more journey in me before I am done seeing the world and learning about its amazing people.

Today is a stepping stone closer to this reality that I’m not ready to face yet. I keep repeating to myself that I can do whatever I want to do. I can live where ever I want to live in this world. I can continue with my purpose anywhere in the world I decide to be in. Now, I just need to decide where that special place is. I am burning with ideas and suggestions so much that I have created a sort of anxiety and butterfly feelings in my stomach. Scared and excited can feel the same. I would definitely say that I’m more excited but would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared.

Final Days

While I don’t leave Mumbai until December, I am wrapping up my teaching experience with The Yoga Institute Powai on October 10th to get ready for all the changes that are about to take place and to travel with another friend that is visiting in November. My experience as a teacher would not be near as great if I hadn’t been blessed by the opportunity from Rahul sir.

The very first time I went to his studio when they had opened, I told him that I wanted to teach. Then, after my ‘internship’ in Idaho and my return to India, I was granted this amazing opportunity to teach for him and the Yoga Institute. I learned to not judge myself so harshly and that it is ok to learn while teaching. It is ok to make mistakes.

Rahul and his wife are two of the most kind people I have ever met. If I did make a mistake, Rahul would be there with compassion and a soft voice to correct me. I always felt that he was a gift to me by the karma that had been done to me in the United States. A gift from God saying that I was on the right path and to keep going.

I am leading a Yoga Nidra session tomorrow and people are already telling me that I shouldn’t leave Mumbai. I agree with them but even being an American, I wouldn’t be able to afford to live in such a Metropolitan city such as Mumbai. I will lead past studetns, new students and current students through a guided Yoga Nidra session that will last 1 hour. After trailing this last weekend, even I felt relaxed after conducting the class.

Final days are approaching and I am just shocked that a year can fly by so fast. I’m shocked that no level of preparation can prepare you for moving back all the way across the world with your doggie children and your Doug. Nothing can prepare you for the tears that come while your students are relaxing to the sound of your voice. The final days in India are approaching sooner than I had ever thought they would.

Visit

I couldn’t have imagined a better time with my friends, Lyndon and Pieter. They are completely amazing people that i would do anything for. Pieter calls this ‘chosen family.’ I am blessed to know these people not let alone be a part of their tribe. Both of them have been my friends during the good times, the bad and the transformative times. I have also been there for them during their marriage, a death and those times in life where there no answers just support.

I cried as I walked back to my apartment after seeing them off with both of their heads buried in their phones as the van took them to the airport. I cried because I am so lucky to have people like them in my life. Tears fell because the fun had to stop for this visit. Now, I am sad because they returned to being just short of 8,000 miles away.

I am realistic in the fact that we will see each other again. I have to remember this in my sadness. If I brought yogic thinking into this I would be indifferent to if they were in my presence or not. However, there are just some people that you want to stick around a little longer or for as long as you can. We are all so independent of each other but very dependent on on another. This perfect push and pull that exists among friends.

We went to temples. We went to markets. We went to the mall. We went all over Mumbai and it was just love all over the place. It was amazing to see their faces as their circumstances changed from the norms that they are used to to the norms that I am now used to.

Their visit was a success and one for the books. Our last full night together, we went to a place called the Finch. We enjoyed cocktails and great food. We spent three hours laughing, singing and talking like people that love each other do. I can’t wait to spend time with them again very soon.

Day 214: Final Day

Today is my final day of class and I have recorded all 214 days of it. I have documented my ups an d downs. I have recorded thoughts and feelings. I let go of people and emotions that were tied to them. I have archived the transformation that has taken place within me.

I reflect on my experience and the most valuable take away for me is that people are all the same. The personality that I clash with the most exists no matter where I am in the world. However, the person that I am has changed. The way that I react to those personalities or behaviors is all up to me.

It doesn’t matter who much you feel wronged. It doesn’t even matter what the actions were. What matters is your ability to bounce back up and rise up again. I can’t say that my entire experience in the class was completely perfect because that would be a complete and total lie. However, I can say that I regret none of it and am blessed to have that experience.

I had a desire to change and be the best I could be and met that challenge in ways that I couldn’t even have imagined. I went to class even when I didn’t want to. I got up early and performed my asana and pranayama when I just wanted to stay in bed. I challenged myself to do more and learn as much as I could. Learning the philosophy of yoga is hard enough but you are also learning a different language, Sanskrit.

I can say that I am changed from within. My love for people has grown and my life is completely blessed. With that said, I must announce that I will be started to write on this blog on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays now. I have enjoyed writing but need to focus on getting my yoga website, jeremyeatonyoga.com, ready. I will be announcing soon when it is done.

Day 213: Countdown Pt. 3

As I write today, I have extreme anxiety about moving back to Missouri. Doug’s focus is making sure that his mom is going to be ok while my focus is if I’m going to be ok. My friends are coming back from Vietnam tonight so I will have several days to spend with them and take my mind off of the worry and torment that moving back to Missouri is having me feel. I hope that they have a fabulous time and don’t recognize that I am terrified on the inside.

They have already been supportive in wanting me to move to Rochester and I’m just torn. There is so much opportunity in starting over. Finding a new city and just doing my best to make it a better place for everyone. Helping people better their own lives is my main passion. This is all possible.

It is possible for me to live in several different places just as it is possible for me to continue my relationship with Doug while I live my dreams. The ebb and flow of a relationship will happen as it always does regardless of distance. I worry that my life is too ambitious for him. I worry that while I live my dreams, he feels forgotten.

The countdown continues and my anxiety skyrockets despite my yogic training and continued practice. With everyday that passes, I am already mentally leaving Mumbai to all the different possibilities that I can make happen. There are so many opportunities that I lay in bed awake at night feeling overwhelmed. It’s not so bad to be overwhelmed with possibility.

When thinking about detachment today, I thought about how I am detached from the world around me out of protection and I am attached to the world around me because of ego. How do you just let things be when we are told we are in control and only we can create our future or outcomes? This confusing world we live in has me frustrated and grateful at the same time. If we stand still, aren’t we still moving?

Day 212: Countdown Pt. 2

Monday is the last day of my class and I am missing it to spend time with friends in from New York. They are so inspiring to me. Both of them work in the hair business. Lyndon is a hair stylist while Pieter is a barber. They work out of their house. They are able to be a team in both their personal and work lives. My parents have the same relationship so it is comforting because the little arguments that they get into feel familiar and oddly comforting.

I plan to show them as much as I can while they are here but I forget how exhausting the travel times are and how long it takes to get anywhere. How do you show chosen family all of where you live but not leave them exhausted and overwhelmed? I wanted to plan a rest day on their final day here in Mumbai so I will see if that is good for them. Meanwhile, I have to get our house ready.

Doug and I are also planning to leave Mumbai the second week of October. I take my exam on the 9th of October and then we are on a plane with two of our dogs back to Missouri. Doug is staying in south Missouri with his mom and I will be teaching yoga in Saint Joseph and Kansas City. I am testing the market to see what the people living there are interested in with regards to yoga. Will it be sustainable to stay living in that area to have the life that I want? I am absolutely not sure.

The midwest of the United States doesn’t value the things that have great value and place value on things that have no value. I completely understand that this is a mindset that I am bringing with me but I have to be realistic. I am already getting ready for a mural project that I will be doing for ‘exposure.’ However, the mural project will prove a great point that I have been wanting to make for a long time. The meeting to finalize this will be during my visit.

As I am counting down the days before I head home, I have so many choices to make and many more options to choose from. It feels amazing to have the entire world open as an opportunity but, honestly, I have been putting in my dues for a long time and am ready to live the life I design without any compromise. I am done compromising and living for the benefit of other before myself. Those days are over. I am now a changed human being with purpose and unafraid to use it.

Day 211: Countdown

As my partner and I are on the final countdown of our India experience, it is hard not to be dreading coming back to what is so familiar. However, this new set of knowledge has me mentally prepared for the challenges that are surely about to come my way. For the last three years, I have been a witness to people that were my friends finding my distance from them being an inconvenience so they have disappeared off the radar. Other unexpected people have come into my life and I get to see them in a new light.

So many people said that would visit. I mean we even got an extra year here and have had my mom, Linda, JaRan, now, Lyndon, Pieter and, soon, my friend, Brean. That’s it. In three years, 6 people have come here. I can understand not having the money and, in the case of my father, I can vaguely see not having the time. What I can’t see is people that are constantly traveling and have never even reached out. These are people that were close to me. I admittedly had expectation and now expect nothing out of them. I don’t even expect their friendship.

I will practice Mudita with them along with everyone else but my attachment to these people is way less regardless of their empty promises of making it to a land that I would have loved to share with them. I do not lack understanding when it comes to this. I have had friends that definitely have had their fair share of life handed to them and fro that I don’t blame them. I’m talking about the people that I haven’t heard from in months or, in some cases, even years. It is almost as though since I am not there physically to give myself so freely they moved on to other’s that they can leach from.

I have had a teacher that said that regardless of the outcome to give freely. Tangible things and intangible things that I person wants just give. Give with no expectation of anything back. This is the process of not creating karma with people. I want no karmas with people. I have no desire to have my soul leave my body and find another when I die. I want to be completely free even after my death.

I have feelings and thoughts that I am debating reconciling with certain people because I am completely shocked. My gut feeling is that confronting these people will just cause drama. I feel that just distancing myself and doing my work will make enough of a statement to let people know that their friendship is realized for what it is and it no longer suits me. I am not seeking empty promises to make me feel better. I am looking for like-minded people that are wanting to simply make this world a better place and I can’t be affected by broken promises/expectations going forward.

Day 210: Mindset

I had a friend last night that shared a video on Facebook that really hit home with me. He is struggling with depression and wanted to let others know that they are not alone. Many people are trying to tackle this but so many people choose to suffer in silence. There is a stigma with someone saying that they are not ok and that they need help.
My friend’s message made me cry and hit me so hard, I sent him a message just to reach out to him and let him know that he is not alone as well. We all have times that we feel like we are not enough. We all hit rough chapters in our life that seemed so impossible to overcome but you did. I have to sometimes say to myself that Everything is Temporary.

In the yoga world, this has become cliche, but for an ordinary person with no yoga experience this is a mantra that could be the difference between life and death. To truly understand what it is like to know that everything is temporary one has to practice the art of letting go or detaching from anything that is to cause us pain. Family, friends and lovers were all born to die just like we are all born to die. We don’t accept this continually proven fact and in turn grieve like we thought this person was going to live forever.

I certainly don’t want to diminish anyone’s grief or pain they feel if they have last someone. However, knowing that you treated that person with the best of intentions and respect. Did this person make you smile when they entered the room? Did you acknowledge that? We are surrounded by people everyday that just want us to be happy. Do we always return that same sentiment back to them?

There is no way to treat grief that works for everyone. The mindset we bring into grief will lift us up or bring us to very dark places in life we never knew existed. This is all up to the individual but no one is to say that that person is right or wrong in the way that they grieve a person. Mindset and Grieving are the force of two opposites because you want to remember the happiest time during a tragic time in life.

Day 209: Helping or Hurting

Often helping someone is a disguise for hurting someone. The same is true on the other side. Often hurting someone is a disguise for helping someone. As friends, lovers, parents or strangers how do we know what the difference is between the two?

When someone we love is in need of help, we often rush to help them. The have a financial problem and we bail them out with money. Our brother gets in a bad relationship and the entire family tries to lift him up. Aa friend is struggling with alcoholism and is broke so we buy them a beer. These are all ways that we help someone but really hurt them.

On the other side, we tell a friend that we can no longer be around them because their drug use has gotten worse. We tell a family member that we can’t help them financially anymore. We an acquaintance the truth of how their harsh words makes them feel. These are all ways that can hurt someone but in the long run help them at the same time.

‘Rock bottom’ is one of those phrases that has haunted me for a long time. What does rock bottom look like when you are done being someone’s employee when you really are their son? What does rock bottom look like when you have been used up by so many people that you have nothing left for yourself? What is rock bottom, period?

Im not sure if it is just the yogic teachings or my current state of mind right now. However, it feels like I am at rock bottom. I’m optimistic about this because rock bottom to me means that there is no where to go but up. It means I can create something out of nothing without the help of anyone else. This means that I own my life and its outcome.

Day 208: Ready

I have been preparing for this certification for what feels like all of my life. Everything that I have been through, all the hurt feelings, all the coaching training, all the trails and tribulations that I have been met with have lead me to this moment. My classmates are studying for and worrying about an exam and I am already preparing the next thing. I feel like I am ready to start this new chapter of my life.

There are many things to be grateful for. In the lat three years, I have completely rebuilt my credit. I can now apply for a credit card and get a credit line. That feels amazing considering I have not been able to do that for over 10 years because of my survival mode in San Francisco, CA. I swiped for everything and spent the last 7 years paying it all off and waiting for the moment that all of the bad credit starts disappearing. That is a major accomplishment for me as I have never been properly shown how to manage money or credit.

I have been offered a position at an Indian University to be a course writer for their Yoga Certification Program. This is something that will keep me coming back to India with purpose. I am awaiting finishing my certification course before I disclose more details on this. The course would be my name and the university name on a certificate. I’m still so shocked at the amount of opportunity that is flowing in.

I am going to be teaching while I am at home in Saint Joseph. I will also be doing market research to see if St. Joseph has a market that could sustain a yoga studio/teaching center. If it doesn’t I am going to be checking out opportunities with a friend that has recently opened a yoga studio in North Kansas City. I have never been in a position where I feel like I am in control of my future and it looks so bright. I get to choose my path and career when I move back to St. Joseph and I couldn’t be more excited.

With all of these opportunities coming in, I have been keeping on the ground by meditation and a strict routine of pranayama and asana practice. My kriya practices are very important to all of this as well. I can’t believe that after almost 3 years this chapter of my life is coming to an end. At first, I was scared and dreading heading back home but now I am excited about what I get to build with my passions and interests. Namaste.

Day 207: Back at It

With this being my last week in my yoga course, I am excited, scared and sad that it is coming to end. As I stated with my friend Miho, her departure starts the series of departures that leads me back to my journey of heading back to the US. My friends come back on Sunday and leave again on Wednesday and then I take my final exam for my 900 hour Yoga Instructor certification. This is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

After I complete my certification, I leave the day after to visit the US for two weeks and get to spend a week in Holland as a sort of farewell to this chapter of my life. I come back to India on November 1st. Shortly after that, my friend, Brean, comes for a month long visit of Vipassana courses, Reiki certifications and the Taj Mahal. Then, in December, I returned to the US ready to start my uncertain next chapter of life.

My life is completely at a crossroads. I want to ride the wave of being an instructor of yoga and also start my own teacher’s training program. I have projects already in the works and look forward to seeing where all of these paths lead. I have a long way to go but taking things day-by-day is the best approach for me right now. I have lessened my anxiety by this approach. It is so freeing to know that everything doesn’t have to be done all at once.

I got back to class today after missing three days last week and teaching on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I am going to miss my students that I have been teaching for the past year and also the ones that have come in more recently. They will never know the true impact of how the shaped me as a human being and a yoga teacher. I am grateful to them like God sent them to me for bountiful lessons. My last day with them is October 10th and the days are flying by.

Being back at it, is taking a mindset of determination and strength because my attendance requirement is fulfilled and all the required signatures are all logged. It’s head to believe that I will have taken on this tremendous challenge in only March and learned so much. My life is and will always be changed. Now, I just need to find the motivation to get ready to go to class.

Day 206: Spa Day

Today was a very relaxing day. I woke up this morning much later than my usual 4am. Instead, I woke up at 10am and had to rush to make it to breakfast. We had to leave the apartment by 12:30pm to make it to Shen Reflexology by our appointment time at 1:30pm. We had 90 minutes of foot reflexology and 30 minutes of hand reflexology. Lyndon and I shared similar, unique experiences with our massage therapist.

After we got done with reflexology, I had set up appointments for both Pieter and Lyndon to do Float Therapy at Liquid Sanctuary. Lyndon had floated before but Pieter had not. Both of them loved it. While they were floating, Doug and I walked around to get dog treats, stop at the ATM and sample a piece of carrot cake at a newly opened Suzette’s in Bandra at Pali Naka. After their float session, I taught a session of Yin Yoga and put everyone to sleep.

I noticed their faces completely relaxed after about an hour of breathing and light stretching. Normally, their faces contain stress especially between their eyebrows and on their foreheads. Whispering snores let me know that they felt safe and completely relaxed on their mats. How do you bring about peace for two people that work for themselves and are full of stress and grief?

You be the best friend that you can be and let them be stressed and grieve. You job is to make sure that you don’t add anymore stress to their life so much that they have moments that they forget about their own stress and grief. You show them a world unfamiliar to them. You show them a world that is unrecognizable to anything that they have ever seen. You show them love that will be there in the best of times and the worst of times. This is true brotherhood.

A spa day turned into a learning lesson of how I love people. It turned into being grateful for three people that I love very much. I turned into a day that I grew as a partner to Doug. This spa day turned into a day that I will remember for a long time.